Thursday, June 17, 2010

This was the day! June 17, 2010

That has changed our life forever. This was the morning that we found out that we were pregnant!!

Let me start with our story..... After we got married we decided we wanted to start our family quickly. We tried for 6 months with no luck. I figured something was wrong with my body just didn't feel right. I was young and healthy and nothing was happening. In March which would have been 6 months of trying we found out that I had PCOS (poly-cystic ovary syndrome). This basically means that I do not ovulate. With out ovulating this whole baby making thing just doesn't happen. The doctor had a solution for us. I would take Clomid (inexpensive fertility drug) from days 1-5 and then try on a specific day and come in for blood work at the end of the cycle. I was bummed because when we visited with the doctor he said take the med day 1 and I JUST started and I was on day 2 or 3. Ugh! So I would have to wait till April for us to try the Clomid.

During this waiting period for my cycle to start, my emotional state was getting worse. I was becoming more sad and depressed. I felt like a broken woman. Not able to get pregnant. Kept questioning...Why can't I get pregnant? Why????Most of my life I was trying to prevent myself to get pregnant, but when I did want to get pregnant it was just not in the cards. I would constantly think about all the unwanted pregnancies out there and the people who were unfit and irresponsible to be future parents and it made me so upset. Why would they get pregnant and not us?? We were good people. Emotionally this was taking a toll on my heart. My heart just sank. It seemed like everyone around us was getting pregnant so easily and for us it was literally taking a village to make it happen. I cried every time I saw someone post on Facebook announcing their pregnancy.

Back to the story....around the day I thought I was start again I filled the Clomid prescription and the label stated I needed to take the Clomid from days 5-9 and NOT 1-5. So I called the doctor's office to clarify and they said that was correct days 5-9. I was FURIOUS! We could have tried a month earlier, but didn't because of a miss-communication! Any ways so I waited and waited and waited some more to start my cycle so I can take the Clomid on days 5-9. On day 45 still nothing was appearing! I was so mad at my body for not letting this happen. After reading someone post again an announcement on facebook that they were expecting I bawled for a good hour. I then decided not to wait anymore and to take charge of my life. I called that Monday morning the doctor to give me something to induce my cycle, Prometrium. He filled me a prescription I popped those pills and 9 days later I had finally started after 2 months of waiting! FINALLY!! DANG!

I was more than prepared than I have ever been the past 8 months. I did my research online and found out my days that I was fertile. However, the week I was ovulating had to be the most challenging week for me. At work I had just launched our new upgraded site and was extremely stressed. I kept telling myself and to breathe. We can not risk not having a baby because of a stupid job. Not worth it. Don't know if those little pep talks to myself helped or not. I just kept trying to myself we both wanted to extend our family and will do whatever it takes!

The days I was ovulating (June 1 & 2) I had some extreme cramping in my pelvis area. I knew this has to be the O days. I guess I never did ovulate because I have never experienced cramps like this after having a period. Talk about uncomfortable! After I ovulated that next weekend I had felt pains in my pelvis, but I thought it was because my ovaries were swollen from the Clomid, but I believe now it was implantation. I didn't spot at all during the implantation just cramped really really bad. The cramping got better and became mild and more bearable.

Saturday had rolled around about 2 weeks later after ovulation. I decided to take a pregnancy test the earliest day I thought I could get a positive. 1st test... BIG FAT negative. Then on Sunday negative again. Monday negative. I felt so rejected. I was soo down seeing these negative tests. I had wasted more $$ on these expensive pee sticks.  I thought I was definetly out this month getting a positive pregnancy test. I wasn't even getting a faint line!

That Sunday we had went to church at Cyfair Christian Church. I have been wanting to go to church for a long time, but something always held me back. I was always scared to go. It was years that I had willing went to church on my own. However, for some reason something told me we should go. Maybe the reason why we were not getting pregnant was because I had lost my faith in God. I needed to go back and ask forgiveness and trust he will do what he thinks is best for us.

Tuesday I went into the doctor's office for blood work to check if the Clomid dosage was correct. I thought I would get results right then, so I asked when I would get the results because I wanted to know soon because I didn't think I was pregnant and wanted to start the next round of Clomid. They told me Thursday would be the day I would get the results. As I was waiting for Thursday to come around I felt like I was really about to start my new cycle. So I had completely given up the thought we were pregnant and I needed to prepare mentally for the disappointment. And then motivate myself to get started on a new round of meds, charting, temping etc (not exciting)

I then started to analyze my symptoms and talked to some girls online and they gave me a glimmer of hope that there was a chance that we could be. I thought it would be very slim, but maybe. So on Thursday morning I woke up and decided to take one last test. I was thinking, "how fun would it be for me to call my doctor not inquiring about the results, but letting them know that it worked!" How fun? So I gave it a shot. I was putting my hair in a pony tail as I was waiting for the results. I was prepared to see "Not Pregnant" then a second I looked back down and saw PREGNANT! I couldn't believe my eyes!! I stared at it for a few minutes and started to get a huge grin on my face. I then took the test and ran into the bedroom. Mike was still sleeping. I jumped onto the bed and yelled, "Baby wake up! What does this say??" He says, "Everything is blurry I can't see anything. Is it negative? All I see is a line" I screamed, "No, WE ARE PREGNANT." I totally didn't expect this answer from him. He goes "Congratulations." I said "What? Are you serious??? Congratulations? WE are pregnant!" I was then was running and hopping around the house with such great joy. I then got the dogs their bandannas I had made months ago for this day (they are really really bad looking-I am making new ones). They said "Big Brother in Training" & "Big Sister in Training." I then took them into the bedroom and showed Mike. He laughed. "See the dogs are excited too!!!"

~this was really really blurry, I was sooo excited I couldn't figure out how to take the picture. ~
~I took this one on Saturday because Mike didn't really believed the first one. Plus I needed a better picture!~

Mike and I got ready and had breakfast at chic-fil-a and I just couldn't stop smiling during breakfast. We decided to wait to tell family until we were further along, but I wanted to tell my friends at work Courtney and Misti. They had always been there for me during the past 9 months. Even if something happened (god forbid) they would be my support system. I couldn't have been blessed with better friends at work.

I got to work and went to Courtney's desk and said, "Hey you want to go get a taco? I want to show you & Misti something real quick too." She said, "Yeah, I will go with!" I then went up to Misti and asked if she wanted to get a taco. She gave me the look that she didn't want to. I then say, "Are you sure? I really want to show you something." Then her eyes get real big and says, "What? Show me now!" So I took Courtney and Misti into a conference room and asked them to help me read something off this blurry picture. They both saw it and could not believe it either. Courtney goes, "Does this mean you are?" I nodded my head yes. They both started to jump up and down. Gave me a hug. Misti started to cry. Such a great experience. So emotional. It was awesome!! I have such great friends!

I still can not believe this day has happened. I am completely in shock and happy beyond belief that this has finally happened! I can't not wait to meet our new baby Martin! God has blessed us with such an awesome gift. God is certainly good. I had forgotten that since I was a child. I will now never forget that.

Tomorrow I go to the doctor to check my progesterone levels.



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